Standard answers to workplace mental health

The standard answer to mental health in the workplace has never been standardized slogans such as "always be positive", "reject internal friction" and "don't bring emotions to work", but "a dynamic balance that you can accept" - this is the most practical core conclusion that I can give after seven years of corporate EAP consulting and seeing thousands of cases of people working in different industries and at different levels.

Don't think this is just me talking to you. A girl who was hired for an Internet operation job last month was fooled by the so-called standard answers. For three months in a row, her KPIs were ranked in the middle and lower ranks of her department. She was flooded with messages like "Incompetence in the workplace" and "Stop imagining to counterattack." She forced herself to wear a standard smile every day at work, and was forced to write a "positive diary" after get off work. She swallowed all the negative emotions. As a result, within a month, she had an acute anxiety attack and went to the emergency room. During the follow-up examination, she even had new thyroid nodules. The first thing she said when she came for consultation was, "I obviously followed the standard answer, so why is it worse? ”

In fact, all the "workplace health guidelines" currently circulating on the Internet are essentially general templates that are separated from individual scenarios. When applied to specific people, the standard answer is what is easy to use. If you ask an academic positive psychology researcher, he will most likely tell you to focus more on your strengths, focus on what you can do well, and focus less on shortcomings and internal friction. This logic is really useful for people who are not bad at their abilities but are just temporarily stuck in self-denial. I have seen several boys in technical positions use this method to get over the self-doubt of being laid off and get new offers with 30% salary increases in three months. But if you ask an existentialist psychological counselor, he will tell you that "allowing yourself to be unhappy is the best way to heal." The workplace is inherently anti-human. It is normal to have moments of anxiety, anger, and wanting to scold the boss. Forcing yourself to pretend to be positive is essentially secondary damage to your own feelings. There are also more pragmatic researchers in industrial-organizational psychology who will not talk to you about emotional regulation at all. They will first ask you, "Did you take a job that doesn't belong to you?" Have you ever been dumped by a colleague? Does the salary match your workload? ”, in their view, 80% of workplace emotional problems are essentially problems of unequal rights, responsibilities, and benefits. Drawing clear boundaries and getting the money you need is more effective than doing 100 emotional meditations.

Last year, I met a sales director in the FMCG industry who had more than 20 people under him. He was overwhelmed by KPIs throughout the year. No one would believe his method of regulating emotions: he skipped work for 2 hours every Wednesday afternoon to go fishing for crayfish in the park next to the company. Many people in the company privately said that he was not motivated, and some people took photos of him skipping work to his boss, but he did not explain it. It was not until the end of the year that the performance of the department he led increased by 1.4 times, and he said at the review meeting, "If I didn't go out to fish for shrimps for those two hours, I would have to fight with subordinates who made stupid mistakes in the middle of the week, and maybe even scold important customers away. Which loss is bigger?" ”His method will definitely be criticized as "unprofessional" if he puts it online, but for him, this is his standard answer - he can accept the rumors that skipping work may bring, and can also ensure that his performance does not fall behind, and his mood is smooth. It is easier to use than any "emotional management rules for professional managers".

There was also a kid born after 2000 who had just joined a state-owned enterprise and came to me for consultation. He said that he had to play Lego for 10 minutes at his workstation every day. His colleagues advised him not to do it, which seemed unserious. I asked him if he had finished his work? He said that every time he had done what he had to do before he started working on it, his boss saw it twice when he passed by and didn't say anything. I said, what are you afraid of? You can accept the possible evaluations, and it won't affect your work. Playing Lego is your workplace health code. You don't have to sit in the tea room every day to gossip and relax like others.

Of course, I also know that many people now believe in "resigning to cure all diseases" and feel that if you are not happy in the workplace, you will be done with it. I have also seen many people take a gap for half a year after quitting their job, and their condition is indeed much better when they come back. However, there are also people who can't find a job for three months after quitting their job, and are so anxious that they lose their hair every day, but are in worse shape than when they were at work. Others say, "You must be tough with your boss and not be wronged." But if your mortgage payment next month still depends on this salary, and you can't bear the consequences of being fired after a tough fight, then it's not shameful to pretend to be a grandson for the time being. It's not "psychological weakness" at all.

I have been doing consultations for so long, and I have never listed "5 things that must be done" or "3 pitfalls that should not be stepped on" for clients. I only ask two questions at the end of each session: First, will your current state affect your normal eating and sleeping? Second, will it affect your ability to complete the core things you should do? If both answers are no, then even if you secretly scold your boss for 10 minutes and touch fish for 20 minutes every day at work, it can still be considered mentally healthy.

After all, it’s just work, so you don’t have to work hard for other people’s KPIs, right? There is no standard answer that is universally applicable. Whatever you feel comfortable with is the best answer.