What are the differences between parenting and child health?

Simply put, parenting is a comprehensive parenting practice covering the entire growth cycle of children from birth to adulthood, and children’s health is the core basic proposition under the parenting framework, focusing on the normal development and maintenance of children’s physical and mental functions. The two are the relationship between inclusion and being included, direction goals and underlying support.

Last year, I met Xiaoxia, a new mother born in 1995 at a community child care clinic. She was holding in her hand three or four "Must-do Lists for Growth under One Year Old" compiled by parenting bloggers. She sat down and asked me if her baby was still close to being able to stand alone at 10 months. After giving birth, she turned around and hurriedly took out the poop photos on her phone and asked if it was due to indigestion. At that time, she was confused about these two things, thinking that failing to meet the requirements of the parenting list meant that there was something wrong with the baby's health. In fact, they were completely different things.

Anyone who has actually raised a child or worked with children knows that the practical boundary between the two is actually very clear. You usually play house with your child to practice social interaction, read picture books to your child to enlighten your child, and teach your child to be polite and follow the rules. These are all socialization and cognitive training modules in parenting. Even if your child is slow to socialize and can read half a month later than his peers, it has nothing to do with health.； But if your baby still only calls mom and dad when he is two years old, bites people and throws things frequently for no reason, or has fever and vomiting as soon as he arrives at kindergarten, but no organic problems can be found, these fall into the category of child health and require evaluation by a doctor in pediatrics, child care, or even child psychology. It cannot be adjusted by searching for a few parenting strategies.

I often make an analogy to the parents who come for consultation. Raising children is like planting an orange tree. From selecting soil and cultivating seedlings to pruning and thinning, the whole process of care is child care. Regularly checking whether there are diseases and insect pests, whether the branches are strong enough, and whether they can hold fruits is the work of children's health. No matter how much fertilizer you apply and how beautiful the branches are, if there are insects, you need to find a professional plant protection personnel. Conversely, the absence of diseases and insect pests does not mean that your tree will produce the sweet fruits you want, right?

There are a lot of related debates on the Internet now. One school of thought believes that all parenting actions must make way for health. Advanced enlightenment and interest classes are all unnecessary and burdensome for children.； There is also another group of people who believe that as long as the red line of health is not touched, parenting should have a personalized plan. For example, some children are born to be active, so it is okay to spend more time on physical exercises, while some children are quiet, and sitting and painting for two hours is not harmful to health. There are a lot of supporters of both views. In essence, everyone has different perceptions of the weight of the two, and there is no absolute right or wrong.

When I do popular science for parents, I always say that there is no need to forcefully define the difference between the two, just keep one principle in mind: as long as the child's height and weight, developmental assessment, and psychological state are all within healthy and normal ranges, the rhythm of parenting can be completely based on the situation of the child. Just don't be swayed by messy anxieties.