What are the differences between parenting and child health

The core difference between parenting and child health is that the former is a personalized parenting practice covering all dimensions of child growth, while the latter is the core basic goal of parenting and the bottom line reference for all parenting behaviors. The essence of the two is the relationship between inclusion and being included. Many novice parents tend to confuse the two, which in turn creates a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

Last week I met Xiao Zhou, a mother born in 1995 at a community parenting salon. When her baby just turned 1 year old, her mind was filled with indicators related to children’s health. She followed the growth curve to calculate height and weight. She had to be prepared for every little allergen. She took turns to arrange various nutritional supplements for her baby. If you have done these things well, you are a qualified mother. However, some time ago, you took your baby to a parent-child paradise. Other children gathered together to play in the sand. Her baby clutched the corner of her clothes and hid behind her for more than half an hour, not even daring to move her feet. She suddenly panicked and realized that she had missed a lot of parenting content.

In fact, many parents will have this misunderstanding when they first raise their children. After all, when the child is a few months old, things directly related to health such as eating, drinking, sleeping, eating, drinking, sleeping, etc. account for more than 80% of the upbringing. It is normal to confuse them together, but if we really analyze them carefully, the logic of the two is completely different. To use an inappropriate analogy, children's health is like the native operating system of a mobile phone. If the system has bugs or lags, all applications will not run smoothly. It has a unified reference standard. The WHO's growth curve, psychological development screening scales for different ages, and children's dietary guidelines are all public judgments. They are equivalent to the "passing line" for children's growth. If the standard is not met, there must be something wrong. Only when the standard is met can the basic threshold be passed.

Parenting is different. It completely follows the actual situation and parenting philosophy of the family. If your family likes the outdoors, you can take your child hiking and identifying flowers, plants and insects since childhood; if you like art, you can often take your child to art galleries, play with paint and clay sculptures; if you care about the sense of rules, you can slowly establish a sense of boundaries for your child. These contents do not belong to the discussion of children's health. As long as it does not harm the child's physical and mental health, there is no right or wrong choice, and there is no unified standard answer.

There are indeed two completely different voices in the parenting circle now. One group believes that "as long as the child is healthy, everything else is an additional question, and it doesn't matter if it is done or not." Therefore, it will streamline the parenting content as much as possible and focus all its energy on ensuring the physical and mental state of the child; In fact, there is no superiority between the two views. It's just that everyone has different expectations for parenting, which can also confirm the boundary difference between the two.

My acquaintances who are pediatricians also have this habit when doing science popularization. They will only repeatedly emphasize the content directly related to children's health, such as "guarantee 2 hours of outdoor time every day, give children less high-sugar snacks, and try to yell at children as little as possible". They will never give parents suggestions such as "must enroll children in interest classes" or "learn English early", because the latter does not belong to the discussion boundary of children's health at all, and is each family's own parenting choice.

In fact, it is quite practical to understand the difference between the two. At least it will not tie all the anxiety of parenting to health indicators. For example, there is no need to worry if the child's height is just stuck in the middle. As long as the child's height is within the normal range, he loves running, jumping and has a cheerful personality, it is already a very good parenting result.