A guide to mental health in the workplace

If people in the workplace want to avoid being weighed down by internal friction and anxiety, the core answer is never "adjust your mentality and love your work", nor is it "just quit if you don't feel happy", but rather Don’t pursue perfect fit in the workplace, just build your own and controllable emotional buffer zone。

Last week, I had dinner with a friend who works as a user operator in a large factory. The first thing she said when she sat down was, "I can't even taste the sweetness of poplar nectar that contains 30% sugar." She has been responsible for 30% of the department's KPIs for three consecutive months. The client she contacted has been changing her needs every day, and her direct superiors have always blamed her. She went to the hospital for a check-up last week and was already feeling mildly anxious. The doctor told her that one out of three working professionals who come to the outpatient clinic for emotional problems is in a similar situation to hers.

Nowadays, the opinions on workplace psychology on the Internet are actually very different. One group is the "inward cultivation" party, which tells you to lower your expectations, treat work only as a tool to make a living, and not to invest emotions.； The other faction is the "outward resistance" party, which advocates the habit of quarreling when necessary, resigning if you are unhappy, and never indulging in bosses and colleagues. Both views have a lot of fans, and there are also examples of pitfalls: the girl in my previous department believed in "seeking from within". When the boss passed the blame, she took over, and when colleagues passed on the work, she took over. After half a year, she was found to have type 3 breast nodules, and the doctor said that she would have to consider surgery if it was too late. ； There is also a junior who just graduated. He read too many posts about "rectifying the workplace". During the probation period, he slapped the table with his boss three times. When he was finally optimized, he almost couldn't make up the next month's rent.

In the past few years, I have talked with friends in different industries such as the Internet, finance, and manufacturing, and I have also stepped through many emotional pitfalls. Instead, I feel that the most useful methods are not systematic principles, but small habits that you can use at any time. Together, they are the "emotional buffer zone" just mentioned.

Let’s talk about the easiest thing to implement first: every time you encounter something that makes your blood pressure soar, first give yourself a 3-minute “exemption time”. When I was working as Party B before, I was scolded by a client for more than 20 times in the group chat. My hands were shaking at that time and I wanted to yell back, "Whoever do you want to do it with?" Before typing, I remembered what the consultant told me before, so I got up and went downstairs. , I bought a salt water popsicle and ate it at a convenience store. I stood on the roadside and watched the uncle and aunt dance for three minutes. When I came back and looked at the news, I found that the main color of the poster was to be changed from wine red to true red. I didn’t want to make myself angry. Don't underestimate these 3 minutes. 80% of the decisions you make when you are emotionally overwhelmed will be regretted later. These 3 minutes are not for you to endure, but for you to temporarily take off your "workplace identity". You can be a passerby for 3 minutes first, and then go back to deal with work matters.

The 2023 workplace mental health survey by the Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences mentioned that 80% of workplace emotional breakdowns occur “within one hour after taking work emotions home.” Many people say that work and life should be completely separated. To be honest, it is too false. Which industry now does not have urgent matters that need to be dealt with temporarily? You don’t need to be so extreme, you can just set up a "cutting ceremony" for yourself: I have a friend who works in product. The first thing he does when he leaves the company after get off work is to take off his work badge and stuff it into the innermost compartment of his bag. This action is to tell yourself, "From now on, I am not a product manager, I am myself."” ； There is also a friend who is a teacher. He drives to the downstairs of the community after get off work. He always sits in the car for 10 minutes and watches two episodes of funny short videos before getting up. He leaves all the students’ anger and parents’ complaints in the car during the day. When he opens the door, his wife’s husband and the child’s father are there. Just such a small action can help you block the spread of negative emotions caused by most of your work.

Speaking of this, some people will definitely ask, if the company I work for has its own problems, with PUA every day, unpaid overtime and salary deductions, should I still have these buffers? There is actually no standard answer here. I have seen two completely different options, both of which are correct: There was a project team at my previous employer. The leader asked everyone to write a thousand-word work review every day. Even if the takeout order was slow, their performance was deducted. Three girls in the team collectively submitted their resignation reports. Now one has passed the career examination and the other has opened a handicraft shop. They are all much happier than before. ； But there is also a friend who works in design. After changing to four companies in a row, he felt that "the boss's aesthetics were too bad and he was deliberately targeting me." So he quit his job and took on private work at home. After two months of working, he discovered that the requirements of private clients were even more outrageous than those of his previous boss. Finally, he went back to work in the company. So you have to first make it clear whether your bad mood is a problem of the environment or your own cognitive habits - if it's the former, running away is definitely the best solution. Don't trade your health for that little salary. ； If it's the latter, even if you change jobs 10 times, you'll still be upset if you should.

There is another point that many people are embarrassed to mention: there is no shame in asking for help if you really feel you can’t handle it anymore. Nowadays, most regular companies provide free EAP psychological counseling services. I had insomnia for a month last year, so I made two appointments with the intention of giving it a try. The counselor did not tell me any big reasons, but asked me to write down three small things that had nothing to do with work every day before going to bed. I wrote, "Today, the orange cat downstairs rubbed my trouser leg." If the company doesn't have this benefit, it's not that scary to go to the psychology department of a regular hospital to register. It's the same as going to the doctor when you have a cold or fever. Don't take it hard. If something goes wrong, you will be the only one to suffer.

In fact, after all, everyone goes to work to make a living. Part of the salary you receive is "mental damage compensation". You don't need to ask yourself to be full of positive energy every day, and you don't need to force yourself to achieve "emotional stability in the workplace." Occasionally, it is normal to catch fish at work, complain about your boss behind his back, or wake up on Monday morning and not want to go to work. Really, don’t tighten your string too tightly. After all, if it breaks, no one will report you a work-related injury.